For Kevin Jenkins, nothing good can come out of being kidnapped out of his comfortable old slippers to save Feynard’s mythical Forest from the Blight. He’s bedridden, afraid of beetles, and he doesn’t believe in magic. But his abductors, a Unicorn and a Dryad, think differently.

The Unicorn Zephyr believes he’s the champion the Forest has been waiting for. The Dryad Alliathiune thinks he just needs a jolly good slap. Everyone else thinks he’s a wet blanket, an impostor, or by complete coincidence, some sort of mighty High Wizard.

Throw in a Dark Apprentice with a fondness for shiny black boots and slaying everything in sight, a ten-foot swamp monster, a lethal romance, and a prodigal Faun. What could possibly go wrong?